That first encounter with Robert in rural Romania
at eleven. A summer spent together in the same setting a year later. Their
first text exchange in high school. The first sexual experience. The first
heartbreak—the second and third and fourth chance. The point of total breakdown
and the despair of failing. More love than anyone could have warned him
about.
No matter how much time passes, no matter how
different their paths, every meeting brings Edi and Robert closer together.
Those stolen moments shine brighter than any. Yet loving Robert is not easy,
not when Edi wants to be true to himself and is met with dishonesty. Or when
Robert keeps parading new conquests and ignores Edi more often than not.
Edi has always loved Robert, but he must decide if
his journey leads to or away from his childhood friend. Is it true love or is
Edi just unable to let go?
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“How… how was it?” Robert was too cute!
Yeah, he might have been older, but that sudden shyness and tremor in his voice
made him look younger. No, not just younger, younger than me. Inexperienced.
Vulnerable.
I took full advantage of that vulnerability. “I
could show you.”
Robert gasped and moved away from me. He didn’t
say anything, but the horror was evident on his face, even in the darkness. It
felt like a punch to the stomach, the kind that pushes you back a few meters.
Dead on, when you’re not prepared for it.
I chuckled and shook my head. What was I doing? I
stood and nodded to him, then took a few steps towards my gate. I don’t know
what surprised me more, Robert’s hand closing around my wrist and tugging
gently, or how cool it was, despite the summer heat.
For a second, I considered yanking my hand free
and running home. I couldn’t though, the feel of his cold skin on mine was like
an electric shock. I turned to face him, a little too fast and not noticing
he’d stepped closer. We bumped chests and lost our balance. I steadied us both,
pinning him to the fence in the process.
I remembered how I’d felt when Victor had done it
to me. The excitement, so overpowering, so laced with fear. The arousal that
had rushed through me. At the time, it had seemed like the most intense thing
I’d experienced. It paled compared to how having Robert’s body pressed to mine
felt.
Robert flattened his hands on the fence and looked
up at me, defiant and cold. I closed my eyes, I couldn’t see him like that, prepared
for an unwanted attack. I could probably overpower him, but did he really think
I would?
“So are you going to do it? Or are you really just
too afraid to kiss someone?”
My eyes popped open and my jaw dropped. There was
a hint of amusement in his tone yet he still looked all defiant. Only this time
I understood it was more about challenging me and making me bend to his will. I
was still the younger fool whose buttons he could push.
I dropped one arm to his shoulder, sneaking my
hand around his neck. His soft, slightly curling hair tickled me and I smiled.
“You’re still such an asshole, Robert.”
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