Blurb:
What
college girl doesn’t dream of meeting Mr. Darcy? Lizzie was certainly no
exception. But when Darcy Fitzwilliam comes into her life, he turns out to be
every bit as aggravating as Elizabeth Bennett’s Fitzwilliam Darcy. So what’s a
modern girl to do?
Jeanette Watts’ satire pokes
loving fun at Jane and all of us who worship the characters who shall forever
be our romantic ideals.
Excerpt:
Well! That was interesting. My roommate invited me along to this frat
party she was going to. She went through
something called rush week, and she is now pledged to a sorority. She said the frats are less formal than the
sororities, and even though I wasn’t a pledge I could go with her. I figured, why not, it should be fun, right?
I got to meet the guy she’s
chasing. I couldn’t blame her for being
interested. He’s cute, and sweet, and
considerate, and a total people-pleaser.
One of his parents must be the demanding sort who is never happy.
He introduced us to his friend…
whose name is Darcy Fitzwilliam! I
wasn’t sure at first that the guy wasn’t just pulling our legs.
“Your mother obviously loves Jane
Austen,” I laughed.
“Obviously,” he answered. Not much to go by.
“I love Pride and Prejudice,” I
continued.
“I hate Pride and Prejudice.” I
can only describe the look he was giving me as hostile.
“I think you will find yourself
very much in a minority,” I answered, returning his look with one of my own.
We didn’t talk any more that
night. Talk about getting off on the
wrong foot!
Manners
It
seems to be generally known that “nice” Americans travelling abroad should
claim to be Canadian. This is so that
people won’t treat you as rudely, you’ll get better service, you’ll be safer,
etc.
This is
the worst idea I’ve ever heard of. It’s cowardly. It’s unpatriotic and un-American.
Have
the guts to represent your home country.
Yes, there are a lot of really rude Americans out there travelling the
globe. Yes, we should be properly
embarrassed that they’re out there giving the rest of us a bad name. Now, it’s up to all nice Americans to fix the
problem. All travelers are, at all
times, ambassadors for their home country.
You want it to be safer for Americans to travel abroad? Demonstrate that all Americans aren’t rude,
unfriendly, and ignorant.
How do
you do that? It’s actually pretty
easy. Yes, I know that every culture is
different and it’s easy to offend without meaning to. And yes, not everyone has time to spend
studying the local culture idiosyncracies before embarking upon a trip. But goodwill and basic kindergarten rules are
worth a lot. As you were told when you
were six years old, mind your manners.
Every
culture has words for “please” and “thank you.”
Learn them, along with “hello” and “goodbye.” If one of these words is a lot of syllables,
ask every waiter and waitress, every desk clerk at every hotel, every taxicab
driver, to help you to say it properly.
It
doesn’t matter if you ever actually say it right. Try.
Foreign languages are really fun!
Everyone speaks English. But that
doesn’t mean you get to stop trying. The
goodwill that comes from your cheerful attempts to say “thank you,” or “excuse
me” is invaluable. Even if you never use
a single other word out of your little pocket phrasebook beyond the
pleasantries, you have demonstrated that you are not just another “ugle
American” with that ugly attitude – “I’m an American – talk English to me!”
If
you’re worried about the consequences – of you address them in French, or
Spanish, or Greek, what happens when they answer back in French, or Spanish, or
Greek? – don’t. At first your accent is
going to be so terrible, your listener if not going to be fooled into thinking
you actually speak the language. If they
actually do you the honor of answering you in the same language and you don’t
understand, the uncomprehending look on your face will speak volumes.
Actually,
one of my proudest moments was when I asked the man at the counter in Italian
for a packet of Kleenex. My request was
fluent enough – or the cold I’d acquired on the plane trip TO Italy was bad enough
– that he answered in Italian. When I
gave him the stupid look and said “Huh?” he switched to English.
Go for
the brownie points of trying. It’s
polite to address people in their native language. Once in a while, you get a surprise bonus for
making the effort. I got a free dessert
from a waitress in Greece after I successfully ordered my dinner from the Greek
language (and alphabet!) side of the menu.
It can lead to extra help from the hotel desk clerk. I was once thanked by the Dutch stewardess on
a KLM plane – for my manners. I wasn’t
even consciously trying – when she came by with the beverage cart I asked if I
could please have some water, and thanked her when she gave me the glass.
I’ve
never actually met any of those “rude” French people I’ve heard so much
about. I’ve spent a week in Provence, a
week in Paris, and several days on several occasions among the Quebecois. After I open a transaction with “bonjour” or
“bonsoir,” (two syllables worth memorizing out of the pocket French-English
book) and then stating my business in English (unless I work my courage up and
cipher my way through an entire sentence, like “twenty postcard stamps to the
United States, please”) I get an answering smile, and some very gracious help. A lot more help than I would be able to give
if someone walked up to me, said “hello,” and started talking to me in French….From
my perspective, it sure looks like it’s not the French who are the rude
ones. They’ve gone and learned our
language.
Author Bio and Links:
Jeanette Watts had been writing
historic fiction when the inspiration for Jane Austen Lied to Me hit her on the
drive home from the Jane Austen Festival. The idea was simply irresistible, and
she put aside other writing projects in order to focus on writing a satire,
thinking it would be a "mental vacation." It turned out to take every
bit as much research to write a modern story as it does to write a historical
one.
She has written television
commercials, marketing newspapers, stage melodramas, four screenplays, three
novels, and a textbook on waltzing. When
she isn’t writing, she teaches social ballroom dances, refinishes various parts
of her house, and sews historical costumes and dance costumes for her Cancan
troupe.
Thanks for hosting!
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