Fragments of French Blurb Blitz

Blurb:
After a harsh brush with her mortality, shadowed by a premature divorce, Wanda St. Hilaire pledges to be true to her primary passion—living ardently through travel. On the fateful day her life intersects with Jean-François, a charming Frenchman, on a bustling street in Lisbon, every fiber of her being feels as though she has finally entered the doorway to a magical world that she knew existed since she was a young girl.

St. Hilaire turns a complicated romantic ballet full of missteps into a collage of people, places, and cultures. Fragments of French is an exquisitely detailed travelogue of Portugal, Canada, France, and Mexico, filled with minor characters who delight with their humanity. However, what really makes this tale a standout is a gift for pacing and description to rival Tom Wolfe.

The hero’s journey is not only for the characters of our favorite stories or mythical legends. At some point, each of us receives the call to adventure. Fate summons the hero; we can refuse the call, or step into something that will turn our lives upside down, and potentially change everything we know to be true.

From feeling “completely disarmed, no fortress standing”, to embracing her untethered strength, the author turns this account of living life out loud into lessons for us all.




Excerpt:
French words from my childhood pop into my head at opportune moments, surprising me. On our family visits, my French grandfather whom, to my seven-year-old eyes, looked like a wizened turtle, walked me to the cheese factory near his home. Hand in hand, we would saunter ever so slowly, and he would mutter foreign words to me. His horrid wife, Step grand-mère—the Wicked Witch of Winnipeg—made the grandchildren speak only French in her presence, and I am oddly grateful to her at this moment.

Jean-François asks if I am concerned about our age difference. To my mind, age is determined by the essence and energy of a person. I have known people who are biologically thirty, yet exude the air of a person many decades older. I know my energy is younger than my thirty-five years, and this is what concerns him, but the eight years between us is as insignificant as dust in the wind.

The castle looms over this ancient section of the city, making the evening more dream-like. The cultural blend and integration of the inhabitants creates an exotic atmosphere. With Brazilian, Latin, and African influences from the former Portuguese colonies, I am moved by the cadence and archaic soul of the music. My body involuntarily sways to each new rhythm, and I close my eyes to breathe in the antiquity of my surroundings.

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About the Author:

Her prime passion is the thrill of travel—of experiencing other cultures, traditions, lifestyles, and languages—thus expanding her perspective.

Wanda St. Hilaire has a predilection and passion for all things Latin, and she believes life is too short not to do what you love, where you love. She spends time writing in Mexico for inspiration and to escape the frozen landscapes of Alberta.

Through writing, St. Hilaire shares what she’s learned from the high peaks of adventure and love, to the dark valleys of illness and heartbreak. Her mission is to help people overcome the self, and tap into their wise inner guidance system. Her wish is to inspire others to live true to their unique and beautiful nature.

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Fragments of French on Amazon

Companion Poetry Book, Of Love, Life, and Journeys on Amazon: Inspired during the story of my travel memoir, this collection of poems and verse was first published in 2004 and became a Canadian bestseller for poetry. This second edition was created as a companion book to Fragments of French.

The Sparkle King VBT

Blurb:

In 2014, Patrick lost his partner, Pack, suddenly and without warning. As he struggled to come to terms with this, he was faced with homophobic prejudice from his partner's family. In horrendous emotional pain and feeling desperately lonely and depressed, he started to use recreational drugs heavily and hit rock-bottom whilst on a trip to Las Vegas.

After being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and getting clean from drugs and alcohol, Patrick thought his fight was over. However, this was not the case. Life had many other obstacles in store for him but this time, he knew how to be strong and he knew he had God on his side for support.

This inspiring and emotive true story shows how anyone can overcome the hurdles life presents them with, if they just have faith and focus on their inner strengths.

Excerpt:

I’ve been sober for nearly four years now. It is here that I have stepped into the power of who I really am. I now allow myself to sparkle. It is in this space of love and light that I’ve fallen in love with the man I really am. And that means I protect myself from pain. Yes, it still finds me. Life is life. Life is hard. Pain is an unavoidable byproduct of it. But it is not allowed to ruin me anymore.

Because I now stand firm in the power and strength of my sparkle, I get to work on pain the minute I feel it start to seep into my body. I used to let it hang out, take over and basically encompass me. Now I let it in just enough to feel it. That way I am reminded that I need to heal it, so that I can move on and keep growing in the direction of my dreams. Pain gets in; light comes out.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t get overwhelming. For a few weeks at the end of last year, it seemed like everything was falling apart: a dishonest publicist stole money from me and almost ended my literary career. But the power of my dream and my desire to share the gift of my sparkle overruled his act of sabotage. It just made me work harder.

Enjoy the Silence

The last day my best friend did drugs I found a large feather in the center of my closet.

I didn’t know this–though looking back I did feel it–but he had been using again for about eight months. It was eight months of not showing up, broken promises, lies, manipulation, cutting remarks, inappropriate comments and sometimes violent rage that he directed at me to mask the pain he must have been feeling inside.

It was eight months of abusive behavior that resulted in the greatest pain and heartbreak of my entire life. His behavior toward me broke me in a way that betrayed me. It clawed at me. It ate at me. For a while, the sticky thickness of this low pulled me into an abyss of sadness and loss that matched how I felt five years prior when I found my lover dead on his bathroom floor.

Only this time I was sober through the whole thing. I endured it all. I felt powerless in a way that I never imagined in long-term sobriety.

I’m the Sparkle King. I have proudly declared myself an overweight, gay, bipolar, drug addict widow abuse survivor because I made the decision to own my flaws so that no one could use them against me anymore. I’m supposed to effortlessly conquer things in the same way I easily sashay through life now that I’ve found my sparkle.

But this pain hung on like an uninvited guest–a dark passenger that hovered and stayed and gnawed and broke and ruined. I couldn’t shake it. It lingered. It pulled. It kicked. It took. It stayed. It took more.

It wasn’t always like this with my friend. For a long time, it was the greatest relationship I had ever had with a man. A straight man, he had always accepted me in a way that made me feel safe and sound. He made me feel seen. Loved. Heard. Understood. Human. The relationship had always been easy, effortless, fun, and joyful–even whimsical. In it he had given back years of bullying and abuse by just being present, nurturing and loving.

I know I never loved anyone more for this healing. Drugs ruin everything.

This gift of friendship–of brotherhood–that I cherished more than anything in the world had become strained, difficult, wretched, mean, cruel and distant. Even worse, whenever I questioned anything or asked why he acted the way he did, he pointed the finger back at me. He said I was acting bipolar. He asked me if I was off my meds. He called me crazy. He said I over-dramatize things. He also attacked my sexuality and made insinuations about my sadness and confusion because I was gay. He told others these things too. Our friends. He took everything that made me feel seen, heard and understood and made it ugly and sinister. This behavior made me feel like everything I believed in and loved was a lie.

Despite this, or maybe because of all this, I upped the ante on my side, offering to do more and more to placate him and keep him happy. It was a lot; and this is how all of his stuff ended up in my closet the last day he did drugs. I had let him put it there because he had nowhere else to put it when he moved back in to a halfway house. 

For several weeks after his relapse admission, every time we interacted, we ended up screaming at each other. The relationship that I loved more than anything was severing, maybe even severed. Several people in our lives had suggested we take a break from each other, so I initiated that. That’s when the pain I described before set in and almost smothered me.

A few weeks in to this break, we were forced to see each other at an event we were co-chairing. Our relationship had begun because I had given him his first service commitment in our shared 12 step program and he had said he had a spiritual experience as a result. He was grateful for me. But on this day, his cold, ungrateful, demanding behavior and blatant disrespect toward me hurt so much I walked away from the event in the middle of it. He had finally taken away the very thing that had cemented our bond in the first place by insinuating I didn’t know how to do the very service work that had initiated our friendship. This time, instead of fighting, I said nothing. I walked away in silence. I have stayed that way since.

When we make space for silence, we give God room to help us find peace, renewal, self-love, clarity gratitude, grace, guidance and forgiveness. Silence is where the great work happens. It’s a resting space to make the flower bloom more beautifully.

And in the silence, I remembered the feather I found in my closet that day and took back my power.

I asked him to get his stuff out of my closet. I had a mutual friend take him there and help him while I was in school so that I could honor my decision to choose silence. When I got home from school, I walked in my bedroom and marveled at my empty closet. With a single decisive move that honored myself, I felt myself stepping into my sparkle again. I realized that I was powerless over this situation and that it was time to let go. Cleaning out my closet was an act of cleansing, a purification that led to my healing, allowing myself to grieve without the pain of uncertainty. I felt peace for the first time in months. And I realized something that helped me move toward acceptance: The heart wants what it wants, but if it keeps driving you toward someone who constantly hurts you, you need to do the work and break it yourself before they break you.

Standing in my now empty closet, I found a pair of sparkly shoes I had bought almost two years prior. I had always been saving them for a special occasion like Oprah or something.

As these beautiful shoes glimmered in the stillness of my empty closet, I made the decision that I was the special occasion I had been saving these shoes for. I was Oprah. I can be anything I want to be because I love myself. These shoes remind me who I really am: bright, beautiful, resilient, amazing, magnificent, special, joyful and exciting and fun. 

I put the new (old) shoes and made the decision to walk out of this darkness that knocked me off my game for a minute. I decided to walk toward peace, renewal, self-love, clarity gratitude, grace, guidance and forgiveness. I decided to enjoy - and embrace - the silence.

I’m still not talking to my best friend, though he remains in my prayers. I know his behavior was because of drugs; and I know that’s not who he really is.  I also know that what was the most beautiful thing I ever experienced in my life was true in that moment and that it may not be in this moment, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t. I can accept that, let go and move toward a new beginning that might be even more beautiful. It might even be with him again. Or not.

In this new power, I will bask and dance in the joy and even gratitude I found as a result of surviving yet another storm; and I will sparkle brighter than I ever have before. 

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Author Bio and Links:

Patrick A. Roland is a gay, bipolar, ex-drug addict, widowed abuse survivor and the author of three great books. His first, Unpacked Sparkle: a Story of Grief and Recovery, kicks off his journey of sobriety and self-love following the death of his partner, Pack, in January 2014. This book was published by Az Publishing and is available on Amazon.

His second book is a children’s book called Sparkle On! This book is about a gecko who is constantly constant bullied but chooses to fight this with love.

His new book, The Sparkle King, keeps the sparkle flowing as Patrick finds his way through several fear-inducing experiences by constantly choosing faith to overcome them in long-term sobriety.

Patrick lives in Phoenix, AZ. He is a peer support at a mental health clinic, where he helps others just like himself. He’s also earning a Master’s in Addiction Counselling at Grand Canyon University and is taking care of his elderly, terminally ill parents. He wants you to know you can do anything you decide to do if you love yourself. 

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Living Forward Looking Backward Book Blast

Blurb:
If we’re honest, we'll admit our days are filled with normal routines, like eating cereal and sitting in traffic. We often wonder, “is this it?”

But do we really have to quit our jobs and travel the world to find a fulfilling, purposeful life? Is it possible to find significance in our daily routines, right here and now?

After experiencing a rapid series of major life changes within a single year, Nate stumbled upon a reality that’s shared by us all: there's profound meaning in our ordinary, everyday moments, but we can't see it.

Through painfully-honest storytelling and candid conversation, Nate shares how years of mistakes and missteps uncovered a simple framework that reveals the greater purpose behind our everyday lives, and why the answers to life's deep questions are often backward from what we expect.



Excerpt:
As I faded between my thoughts and Michael’s words, I noticed something different about him. You know how there are those scenes in movies where someone is talking, and you see their mouth moving, but you don’t hear the words? Only the thoughts in the protagonist’s head?

This was like that. “Why does he look so calm?” I asked myself. There was a peace about him I hadn’t seen before. He looked rested, he spoke vibrantly, and he had a certain tranquility about him. Maybe he only looked extra peaceful in contrast to my own worn-down spirit that day. I couldn’t help feeling, however, that between the two of us, Michael was the one who was truly living.

All of our society’s values and ideals screamed, “that can’t be!” How was it that in a time when Michael was broke, working at McDonald’s, and living with his parents, he seemed less anxious than I was? I was the one leading a growing company with plenty of access to cash and investors; I drove a car and he walked; I picked up our dinner tab; I was going to sleep in a nice downtown loft while he was headed to sleep in his childhood bedroom. By all measures, I was the one who should have felt inner peace. At the same time, as I watched him, I knew those things didn’t matter. The storm stirring inside me, juxtaposed against Michael’s calm, said so.

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About the Author:

Nate is an author and entrepreneur who helps us find more meaning in the ordinary, everyday moments of our lives.

Nate and his wife, Erin, were raised in Chicago and now hail from Denver. After moving cities and cycling through a rapid series of major life changes, Nate launched his publishing company, Live Forward, to help others find more meaning in their everyday lives.

Building on his experience as the co-founder of a successful, venture-backed startup company, and as a frequent speaker and trainer on storytelling for nonprofit leaders, Nate's recent book, Living Forward, Looking Backward, helps others understand the greater purpose behind their own life stories.

Through Nate's memories, stories, and candor, we learn how the principle of paradox and the story of the Gospel shows up in each of our lives, often in ways we don't expect, and ways that feel even a little backward to us.

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Musing Mediterranean Book Blast

Blurb:
A trip to the Mediterranean—who wouldn’t be thrilled? Beth Daigle should be doing back flips as she prepares to escape her humdrum suburban life, but travel anxiety gets the best of her. This is a trip of a lifetime, something to look forward to, yet Beth is dreading it.

The daughter of an Italian mother and Greek father, Beth has always dreamed of visiting Greece and Italy. Her Type A husband, Tony, revels in planning every detail of their two-week vacation. The plan expands to include not only Beth and Tony’s two tween daughters, but Beth’s parents, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew.

As her family’s excitement mounts, so does Beth’s trepidation. She experiences serious anxiety about the flight itself, plus spending two solid weeks with her extended family.

Despite her worries, Beth manages the eight-hour plane ride to Rome, and the adventure begins.

If you’ve never experienced the beauty of the Mediterranean, or even if you have, Musing Mediterranean will take you there through Beth’s eyes, page by page.



Excerpt:
ROME

Our first tour of Rome took us on a romp through the city on a guided golf cart tour. That’s right, I said golf cart.

At one point along the tour, I was positioned on the back seat of the cart facing oncoming traffic. This didn’t faze me, as I don’t experience motion sickness.

Hanging off the back of our cart, I held on for dear life as we attempted to keep pace with traffic and simultaneously not lose our caravan. It wasn’t until I was faced with one particularly anxious bus driver that I began to worry that we might not end our excursion with the same number of people as we began. As traffic slowed and my cart came to a near stop, the bus pulled up behind me so closely and so quickly I could’ve leaned over and kissed it.

As the bus approached, I didn’t know what else to do other than to squeal in horror and cover my eyes—I was sure I was about to meet my fate. It all happened so quickly that I froze, unable to think of a better way to save myself and others on board.

“What is going on back there—why are you screaming?” Tony shouted.

“I’m about to be flattened by a bus!”

When Tony looked back to see how close the bus really had come, all he could say was, “Holy crap!”

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About the Author:

Beth Daigle is a lifelong New Englander residing north of Boston with her husband and daughters. Prior to settling into her role as a writer, Beth was a marketing professional whose favorite part of the job was writing. As a freelancer, Beth has enjoyed contributing to numerous lifestyle and home publications, yet she yearned for something more than a magazine article. Then along came Musing Mediterranean. Beth quickly became immersed in chronicling this travel event and articulating her perceptions of the places she visited, the people she met, the foods she enjoyed and the crazy moments she encountered. The idea that someone who may never travel to Greece, Italy or Turkey could appreciate this experience through Beth’s eyes became a driving force behind the story. Revealing her struggle with travel anxiety helped Beth move forward and embrace, once again, how very wonderful it is to travel the world.

“The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.” St. Augustine.

Beth is a creative soul who finds joy in art, home design, gardening, reading, writing, a good laugh, and an even better television show.

Website: http://www.BethDaigle.com
Blog: http://www.3OlivesandaTwist.com
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/3olivesandatwist
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/3olivesandatwist
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/olivesnatwist

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My Wonderful Wobbly Life VBT

Blurb:

Having survived quite a few birthdays and had some interesting experiences, I wrote them down. That's how "My Wonderful Wobbly Life" was conceived. It was nearly born in 2004, but decided to hang on until 2018 to become 'Born again.' Alleluia!!!!

Excerpt:

Chapter 1 - SURVIVAL

“I’ve changed my mind! I’ve changed my mind! I don’t want to go.”

I have a vague memory of making this cry from a railway carriage as I was stolen from my parents by authoritarians.

I was five years old when the authorities decreed I had to be placed in a home for children. Their decision was final and all avenues of appeal against it were exhausted when my father, to soften the blow of parting, talked me into what he described as an adventure.

It was not until the train began to move and the realisation came I was leaving my parents forever, that I made my plaintive cry:

“I’ve changed my mind!”

When I arrived at the home my world changed, never to be the same again. My loving mother and my fun-filled father were gone and in their place were grown-ups I did not know. I did not understand what was going on. There were lots of crippled children, but why was I there with them? Okay, I couldn’t walk very far without falling over. I shook uncontrollably most of the time for no apparent reason. I couldn’t speak very clearly. But, I’d been like this all my life, for me it was normal. So, what was I doing here? “

Have you ever had an imaginary friend?

Yes.

Do you have any phobias?

No.

Do you listen to music when you're writing?

Only if there is some coming from somewhere within my hearing.

Do you ever read your stories out loud?

No, because I don’t have any written stories to read out loud. 

Tell us about your main character and who inspired him/her.

My book is an autobiography.  Therefore, the main character is ME.  The inspiration for my way of life came from many people.  Some well-known generally, but unknown personally, like Winston Churchill, Grandma Moses, Colonel Sanders, Dale Carnegie and Harry Edwards.  There are also others unknown generally, but well-known personally, my family, neighbours, friends from Church and Scout groups, school including trade teachers together with business mentors. 

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Author Bio and Links:

Charles was born in London U.K. in 1932. During his birth the forceps slipped, resulting in brain damage to the motor control nerves of his right side and causing total body spasticity. However, his intellect was not damaged. Throughout his life the two adversaries, controllable brain and semi-controllable body, always needed to be balanced. After several years of work and study he became a Chartered Production Engineer. In 1971 he emigrated to Australia and became a senior examiner in the Australian Patent office. This autobiography illustrates the rhyme: “He started to sing as he tackled the thing, That couldn’t be done - but he DID IT!” Charles chronicles his journey from useless to useful, with humour and joie de vie. He pays tribute to friends who only gave him help when it was asked for. At a young age he recognized his psychic abilities and, by using lessons at the end of each chapter, shares some insights with readers

https://wobblycharles.com

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Nothing is Predictable Blurb Blitz

Blurb:

Zara is eight years old, her father, in a drunken rampage, accidentally shoots himself dead.

 

Her childhood memories leave her struggling with romantic attachments and hinder her from developing healthy relationships.

Seeking answers, she meets a monk for wisdom, and a gypsy for insight.

The journeys Adalina Mae takes us on are interspersed with heartbreaking moments as well as hilarious escapades.

This is life and nothing is predictable. The story keeps you on your toes and offers mysteries to solve.

Why does Zara have recurrent nightmares of her last night with her father?

Why does she struggle with love?

Excerpt:

“Please, try your best, then when you are ready, come to the pavilion and find me. This discussion is not over. I need you to do this first, okay?” She stood up, nodded humbly, and started walking down the hill.

“Don’t forget, drop it like a sack of potatoes, and focus on your breathing!” she called back politely.

She wanted me to grasp the moment, and to focus on cultivating the art of a controlled mind, to increase wisdom and mental awareness. In return, that should give me the ability to focus on my childhood years with controlled thoughts that would no longer affect my emotions, if I learnt to have empathy and to forgive.

“Oh God, how on earth am I going to forgive? Okay, let’s try,” I mumbled to myself.

“Drop it like a sack of potatoes, drop it like a sack of potatoes, sack of potatoes, potatoes. Oh my God, I feel like French fries.” Clearly, meditating about the sack of potatoes wasn’t helping. I tried again, closed my eyes and began to focus on my breathing. Then I took myself back to my childhood years to try to find a way to forgive all that had happened to me. I failed endlessly with that task; a minute of silence seemed like an hour. I kept getting distracted, thinking about French fries and what bills I’d forgotten to pay.

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Author Bio and Links:

Adalina Mae is the author of the published novel Nothing Is Predictable and soon to be released Nothing Can Last Forever.

After leaving the corporate world of management, she decided to pursue her lifelong passion to write.

She's also a lover of movies and hopes that her novels become a motion picture.

Adalina wrote Nothing Is Predictable to inspire optimism and positive thoughts, reminding us we are strong and can overcome life’s challenges. Particularly those who suffered childhood trauma like she has.

She is determined to spread the inspirational message of her story.

Her life's incidents have taught her that, Nothing Is Predictable and Nothing Can Last Forever.

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Accidental Jesus Freak NBtM

Blurb:

In 1973, Linda was a flute player and music major at a California community college, until she met and fell madly in love with a charismatic piano player, plunging into his world of music-making and drug-fueled parties. When, just three weeks after their wedding, he reveals that he's been "born again," Linda makes the spontaneous decision to follow him into his new religion and, unwittingly, into a life of communal living, male domination, and magical thinking.

With unflinching candor, Amber Starfire chronicles her journey as Linda Carr into the evangelical church culture, where she gives up everything for her husband and their music ministry. But in the process, she loses her most valuable assets: her identity and sense of self-worth. It is only when Linda returns to live with her birth family and faces her complicated relationship with her mother that she finds new purpose and the courage to begin to extricating herself from the limiting beliefs of her past.

Accidental Jesus Freak is the story of one woman, one marriage, and one kind of fundamentalism, but it is also the story of the healing that is possible when we are true to ourselves. Both a cautionary tale and celebration of personal empowerment, Accidental Jesus Freak is a powerful reminder for anyone who seeks to live a life authentic to who they truly are.

Excerpt:

By spring we were behind on rent and utility payments and were running out of food. Paul was deep into one of his depressions, so the Beulah Band wasn’t practicing or performing. Without the focus provided by our music and without Paul’s guidance, the commune began to erode at the edges, crumbling into the sea of reality. One by one, people drifted away, most moving back to Portland to take up residence with family or friends. Soon there was just a core of us left: three families, including Paul and Barney’s, two married couples without children, and a few young bachelors.

I remember quite distinctly the day we gave up. The group had exactly $20 remaining in our coffers—not enough to pay any of our bills. Not even enough to buy food for dinner. So, in typical throw-it-to-the-wind fashion, we traipsed up the street to the local Dairy Queen and bought $20 worth of banana splits to share. It felt reckless and fitting to celebrate the demise of our grand communal experiment in this fashion.

I have a polaroid taken that day outside the Dairy Queen. Fourteen adults and five children smile and squint into the sun like one big happy family. Eric and I stand at the back of the group, round-faced in our youth, his hand placed protectively on my arm. I remember feeling both relieved and sad. I was tired of the strain of trying to keep food on the table, tired of the squabbling, the lack of privacy, and feeling shut out by the men. I was ready to live like a normal married couple, just Eric and me on our own. Yet there was a bitter-sweetness to those banana splits.

Why I Wrote Accidental Jesus Freak

I believe that all life events have meaning, and that sharing our stories helps to uncover the value of our experiences. We — you, me, all humans — are engaged in a constant search for meaning, for our own lives as well as for our families, communities, and cultures.

This is why we read. And, in particular, this is why stories of struggle and triumph, loss and recovery inspire us. Through stories like these, we gain comfort and the courage to survive our own life journeys. When we read about others’ courage to confront their dark secrets, we gain courage to confront our own darkness, break destructive cycles, and find healing.

And no matter how different our lives are, we recognize something of ourselves in others’ coming of age struggles and victories. And that very struggle is at the core of my story.

In 1973, I was a music major at a community college, young and free during a time when women were gaining unprecedented social freedom and legal rights. Then I met, fell in love with, and married a charismatic young man — also a musician — who drew me into a tightly controlled fundamentalist religious group.

At the time, I was only a part of a huge wave of young people flocking to various religions. This was the Jesus Movement of the early 70s, which ended — at least in the public eye — with the Jonestown massacre in 1978.

Many of these religious groups began as sincere and innocent attempts to live “Christ-like” lives, but became corrupt over time, serving the egos of strong, magnetic leaders. Sects like these used brainwashing techniques to gain control over their people. These techniques include attacking your sense of personal identity, laying on guilt, encouraging you to cut off communication from family and non-believing friends, making you question your own interpretation of reality, and then, just when you’re at your most confused state — your breaking point — offering kindness instead of punishment.

Gradually, I gave up my personal freedom. I lived in communes with no privacy and where women were expected to be seen and not heard. For years, I hid my authentic self and submitted to a religious dogma that required I make myself invisible in order to be acceptable — in order to be “saved.”

Then, my family — my husband, two small children, and myself — sold our home and moved to Amsterdam to be part of an evangelical missionary group. To save the world, we thought. But the missionary organization was not what we expected. Instead, we lost everything — our friends, our church, our savings, and our sense of unity. At the time, I could not understand what was happening to us, nor why it was happening. Fortunately, through my struggles to understand, I was able to wake up and make my way out of the fundamentalist mindset, though it took some years to free myself.

You might ask, “Why would an otherwise smart young woman allow herself to be drawn into and live for years in such a situation?”

Why is any woman drawn into, and then stay in, a destructive relationship — whether that relationship is with one person or a religious sect? And what are the factors that prevent young women from trusting their own internal guidance to rely on the guidance of others?

These are the questions that motivated me to write Accidental Jesus Freak. I wrote to explore and unravel the tangled thread of my life experiences and examine the influences that led me into — and, eventually, out of — that tightly controlled life.

Through sharing my story and what I have learned I hope that others like me will gain the courage to come out of hiding, accept and love themselves as they are, and live an authentic life.

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Author Bio and Links:

Amber Lea Starfire MA, MFA, is an author, editor, and creative writing coach whose passion is helping others tell their stories. She has published two memoirs: Accidental Jesus Freak: One Woman’s Journey from Fundamentalism to Freedom (2017) and Not the Mother I Remember: A Memoir — finalist for both the 2015 Next Generation Indie Book Awards and the 2013-2014 Sarton Women’s Literary Awards. She has also published several books of non-fiction, including Journaling the Chakras: Eight Weeks to Self-Discovery, and Week by Week: A Year’s Worth of Journaling Prompts & Meditations. Amber is co-editor of the award-winning anthology, Times They Were A-Changing: Women Remember the '60s & '70s. Her creative nonfiction and poetry have appeared in numerous anthologies and literary journals.

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